“If we are going to survive this, you need to remember, fear is not real. It is a product of the thoughts you create. Now do not misunderstand me; danger is very real. But fear is a choice.”
Will Smith’s character says this line in M. Night Shyamalan’s, After Earth. It’s a quote that got me thinking about fear, especially within the context of public speaking.
Is public speaking fear real? Is it a choice? I had a professor who used to answer questions like these “nes and yo.” To switch up the common “yes and no” response was his attempt to remind us that everything is not always as simple or as black and white as it seems.
Let’s talk about public speaking fear and about our perceptions of danger. In doing so, we might just find that we do, in fact, have a choice.
Fear & Danger
When I have students shaking, sweating, or crying in my classroom because they are terrified to deliver a speech, it would be insensitive of me to tell them their fear isn’t real. I wouldn’t dare quote Smith’s line and tell them “fear is a choice.” Because their bodily responses are telling them otherwise. They didn’t choose to sweat or shake. When you stand up to present in a boardroom, you don’t choose to get nervous. It just happens.
The anxiety most people feel as a result of having to present or perform in front of an audience is quite natural. And it’s actually a good thing. As Psychology Today reminds us, “Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger that has been pivotal throughout evolution. If people didn’t feel fear, they wouldn’t be able to protect themselves from legitimate threats.” Which leads us to the crux of the issue: public speaking is not a legitimate threat. In this specific context, the fear is real, but the danger is not. That’s an important distinction.
Our Choice
But Smith is right, there is an element of choice at work. While you can’t necessarily choose not to be afraid of public speaking, you can choose not to view it is a dangerous. This is an exercise in something psychologists call reframing. And it’s part of cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT encourages us to change our thoughts about presenting. The American Psychological Association says that CBT is based on the principle that “psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking.”
So in order to combat our fears of public speaking, we need to combat our faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking about it. Here’s how. Instead of seeing public speaking as dangerous, we can see it as challenging. Instead of entertaining negative thoughts about the outcome of presenting, we remind ourselves that it’s not a legitimate threat.
If I was forced to give an answer on whether or not public speaking is real, I’d be tempted to adopt my professor’s “nes and yo.” But I’d probably say something like this: “public speaking fear is a natural, physical response to a psychological decision to view public speaking as dangerous. “
So let’s revise the quote above to better fit within the context of public speaking.
“If we are going to thrive at this, we need to remember, the danger is not real. It is a product of the thoughts you create. Now do not misunderstand me; fear is very real. But to view public speaking as dangerous is a choice.”
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