It’s tough to be in the public eye. Every time you give a presentation, you open yourself up to some scary stuff. Things like public mistakes and criticism. That’s probably one reason why The National Institute of Mental Health reports that public speaking anxiety affects 73% of the population. Public speakers don’t just have to find courage. We have to find balance. Balance between both the confidence and the criticism that come from being in front of an audience. And we have to avoid becoming cynical in the process.
In her New York Times bestselling book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown says, “When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make. Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.” Here’s how to find a balance.
Confidence
If you struggle with confidence when it comes to public speaking, you aren’t alone. Many people who find themselves in leadership positions struggle with imposter syndrome. Some of the more common symptoms are a fear of doing things wrong, a fear of being unable to deliver, or difficulty internalizing success.
But fears like these and lack of confidence can keep us from reaching our potential. So here are two ways to build healthy confidence.
1. Reframe your thoughts about perfection.
Brown gives us these important research-based reminders about perfectionism:
- “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence.”
- “Perfectionism is not self-improvement.”
- “Perfectionism is not the key to success.”
- “Perfectionism is not a way to avoid shame.”
Once we begin to remember that perfectionism is not only unhealthy, but impossible, we can release the pressure we are putting on ourselves and spend our time chasing more attainable goals.
2. Work to improve your skills.
If you struggle to have confidence in public speaking, do productive things to build your confidence. Here are a few ideas:
- Start small. Look for opportunities to get in front of an audience. Offer to give the daily announcements for your work team. Tell a story to a small group of friends. Give a toast at a gathering. The more you engage in public speaking, the more your brain learns that it is something you can handle.
- Hire a speaking coach. Find someone who is able to give you expert feedback about your skills. You can start here by contacting one of our presentation coaches.
Criticism
One the flip side of confidence, is criticism. Aside from feeling inadequate, some speakers fear criticism. Brown reminds us that there is no such thing as being bulletproof. And once you step in front of an audience, you’ve got to expect that you could take some criticism, no matter how confident you feel. Again, we need to find balance here. Brown says, “If we dismiss all the criticism, we lose out on important feedback, but if we subject ourselves to the hatefulness, our spirits get crushed.” Here are two ways to handle criticism:
1. Focus your energy in the right place.
Rather than trying to avoid criticism altogether, accept it as a natural result of being in the public eye. Then, filter out what is helpful from what is hurtful. This involves examining the source of the criticism and their intentions. While it takes work, you can learn to let hurtful comments fall away and focus your energy instead on the nuggets of truth that can make you a better speaker.
2. Hire a coach.
This tip echoes the one above. When you hire a presentation coach, you flip the script on criticism. Instead of trying to protect yourself from unsolicited criticism, you take control by actually welcoming it and seeking it out. This makes the advice you get feel less intrusive and dangerous.
When you present, issues with confidence and criticism will probably always be lingering in wings just offstage. They are naturally linked to the world of public speaking. And if you focus on either for too long, cynicism will start to creep in. But by using the tips above, you can find a productive and healthy balance. One that allows you to speak with confidence and to filter through criticism.
If you are ready to get started with a presentation coach, reach out now. We’re here to help.
