On Sunday, Greece rejected a deal offered by its creditors that would have paved the way for debt repayment and maintained, for a while at least, the status quo of the European Union and its corresponding eurozone. For the majority of Greek voters, this uncertain future was preferable to the alternative: increased taxes and austerity measures meant to bolster their country’s strained finances. The effects of their historic vote may not be known for years to come, but in the meantime we might take heed of the post-result celebration: Greeks, draped in those unmistakeable colors, relieved and ecstatic, all for essentially having said, at last, “No.”
Humans are social creatures as a general rule, and many of us shy away from even the most innocuous forms of conflict. As a result we can be suggestible, surprisingly hypnotizable and, unfortunately, overly passive.
Passivity in the workplace can be as detrimental to productivity as inappropriate aggression, and since humans are socially conditioned to think saying “No” is confrontational behavior, most of us are much more inclined to say “Yes!”, irrespective of the context. And we say it too much.
To make things worse, the effects of this (common, mind you) dysfunction are compound in nature — the more additional responsibilities over and above our level of ability we take on, the more we will likely be asked to shoulder. So even though we think we’re helping ourselves by being accommodating and helpful, we can actually make a negative impact on our professional perception, according to clinical psychologist Dr. Mary McKinney. It’s easy to see how an excessive workload can not only decrease our productivity in terms of raw numbers, but also have a noticeably negative impact on the quality of the projects we do manage to finish overall.
So sometimes, like the Greeks, we may judge that it is ultimately in our best interest to say “No.” But how?
1. Take your time. As Forbes notes, you shouldn’t be afraid to use strategic thought processes when analyzing a request. Try a cost/benefit approach, and you may find that it isn’t worth the time and energy to take on another responsibility. Being patient with your consideration will signal that you are taking the inquiry seriously and any potential rejection won’t be out of hand.
2. Compromise, but don’t weasel. It’s fine to suggest other, less resource-intensive ways you could potentially help, but don’t let that drag you down into a rabbit hole of explaining every second of your schedule. You have a right to avoid such high scrutiny.
3. Forget “Sorry not sorry”. Lifehack.org suggests that apologizing weakens your position, and it’s true. You’re essentially bartering over your time in these situations, and you should treat it like you would a car accident — don’t admit fault.
4. Be sincere. Introducing drama to the proceedings isn’t doing your requester any favors. Your refusal should be short and sweet, but more importantly, it should be authentic. No one likes being embarrassed, and a big, showy protestation will be even less satisfying to a colleague than a tone deaf rejection.
It’s all about you. The word ‘ego’ as we use it today typically has a negative connotation, but in Freud’s psychological model, the ego serves an important organizational function. Similarly, selfishness can work well in moderation, writes Eva Glasrud in Time. You simply must be able to look out for your own interests; no one else will do it for you. Consider it your job.
Are you saying “Yes” too much? At Ethos3, we want to lighten your workload. Our award-winning presentations have been big hits for companies such as Google, eBay and Time Magazine. Do we sound like a match? Contact us today for more information on our design and training services. We promise not to say no!
