Brow Wipe: [brou wahyp] a subtle, hygienic gesture that removes the beads of sweat that form when one problem or another makes you realize that life is about to get very, very bad for you.
“Technical difficulties” is present-ese for a host of statistically impossible yet all-too-real failures: “my daughter saved over my slides with Dora the Explorer pictures”; “I spilled my Venti non-fat no-whip mocha into my pants when I stood up and will be back after a short consult with an EMT” (mental note: Decaf Venti non-fat no-whip mocha); or maybe just, “what do you mean the projector isn’t compatible with my iPad?” Whatever the case, relax: things are going to be just fine.
Actually, no they won’t. You’ll lose the account, an account your firm has held for over two centuries, and even though Steve Jobs said your iPad could be used as a presentation device—heck, he delivered his own keynote with it and raised Apple’s stock price by 1000%–you are going to be the fall guy for the entire colossal failure that never quite became the amazing presentation you thought you’d be giving.
Of course, maybe you can find a little culpability in the whole mess. After all, you let your daughter play on your work computer. You had the caffeine shakes from a 20 ounce—really, 20 ounces?—cardio bomb. You had the idea to deliver a vital presentation on brand-new, never-before-used technology. So maybe it’s just time to fall on the mic stand and let everyone go home.
Unless, of course, you’re a MacGyver presenter and you can turn the “technical difficulty” into a smoothly delivered narrative on the frailty of e-commerce in the 21st century, which is exactly why your client could benefit from upgrading their account to your proprietary enterprise service for an increase in firm revenue of $1.5 million overnight—in which case, well done.
The Takeaway: Technical difficulties happen; it’s the lack of preparation for them that is devastating. Always have plans B and C ready so that, even if the power goes out, you can build a campfire and make the time worthwhile for everyone.
